Pagdating sa lovelife, I am actually a very private person. Yes, I joke around but like what was said from the movie I watched, “the real stories are in the things unsaid”. So only a few knew every time I actually went out for a date. My LG-buddies don’t even know (sorry ladies but soon we’ll talk about lovelife, haha). 🙂
Many think I am extrovert but many don’t know actually that I am a combination of both. A strong part of me is extrovert but a significant part of me is also introvert. Sanguine and melancholic, parang baliw lang, haha. There’s also choleric side of me – that’s me being a leader. Phlegmatic? Hmmm… Wala pa akong nakikitang bakas (o baka di ko lang pansin)… I am definitely not an easy-go-lucky person, far cry from it. Anyway, if you have seen all those facets in me then I guess we’re that close, haha.
Anyway, so balik sa usapan. Yesterday, my friends reminded me again to write a book and I am very inspired actually to share my journals in my Christian walk but until now, I haven’t really worked out on it yet. While I was thinking about it, it brought me back to what I said few years ago. I want to write a book about how my love story will unfold. Something like the guy is writing his own piece without me knowing and I am doing my own without him knowing then eventually, we’ll finish the chapters together. Oh sweet diba? Just like a movie, hahaha.
So since I was reminded of that sweet dream of mine, I guess I wanted to start something. This is definitely not a book but I think it’s fun to talk about it. Let me be a celebrity for this time, showbiz ang peg, haha. Well, I hope of course, that some readers will get some good insights too because that’s the main goal of sharing.
Part I. I want to share a few of the “real” conversations I had with various people. This is based from actual events, haha. Sabi ko e, parang movie, haha.
Tanong nya: Bakit mo sya pinakawalan?
Ako: Ehh… Wala pong chemistry e. Di ko rin makita sarili ko sa mga sinasabi nya so I better pull away… besides…
Side comment: Syempre, di ko na sasabihin ang buong usapan but I want to talk about chemistry. I like how Kuya Gerry and Ate Syeh explained it to me then. On top of the spiritual reasons, chemistry is very important. “Kilig” is very essential. That is the thing that makes the relationship exciting. Magpaka-spiritual na tayo (Christian dapat, same calling etc) but we should not leave out this “kilig” factor. That will make every morning sweet and has something to look forward to. Naks! 🙂
Tanong nya: Bakit di mo sya pinapansin?
Ako: Because I do not think it’s right at that time. If the situation is just different, it could have been a different story. I honestly did like him. May chemistry e. I liked his sweetness too. We’re friends.
Side comment: Aside from the right reasons, I honestly think right timing is also very important. It’s not just about your feelings or his feelings. It’s not just about the two of you. I believe that a great relationship is also something that will be celebrated by the people you care. I am not perfect, ohh a far cry from it, but I believe in the integrity of the relationship.
Sabi nya: Wag ka kasi mag-wall agad. Hayaan mo lang silang umaligid.
Ako: Oo nga te… I am learning hard on this one.
Side comment: True. I had a lot of immaturies especially then. Sometimes when I look back from what happened then, I felt like I shut down too early before really building the friendship. Di naman porket you make friends e pupunta na dun. Kaya some people think I am too strong at times… 🙂 Guilty as charged but I am learning.
Sabi nya: Nakausap ko si XX kagabi and tanong sa akin, “Nagpapaligaw ba un?”
Me: (I just laughed). Well, pansin nya siguro na umiiwas ako pero may dahilan ako…
Side comment: I know… I know… That’s me putting up a wall again but then, I have a valid reason here… I can see that he was already intentionally making a move (and this is not me assuming because he admitted to me)… But (sigh) andaming factors. If at the current situation ba, your relationship will blossom? At that time, I honestly did not think so.
Sabi nya: Dapat hanapin mo yung foreigner. Yung mayaman. Wag puso pairalin, dapat utak.
Me: Hmm… Paiiralin ko po ang puso at utak. Gusto ko maging testimony ang magiging family ko.
Side comment: I still wonder why money is a factor but tama naman, wag lang puso pairalin. After all, love is a decision. It’s not just feelings. But of course, di rin naman pwede na utak lang. Connected yan e. The bottom line is, I envision my future family to be a blessing to many other families. Aside from being a blessing to corporate world, I want to conquer the “family mountain”. If we’re that close, alam mo kung bakit, haha. If you don’t know about the Seven Mountains, let’s talk offline. 🙂
She asked (English kasi colleague ko nagtanong): So what are you looking for a guy?
Me: First of all, he must be a Christian. My faith is very important to me. It is my lifestyle. All the decision making that we will do together in the future, what we both believe would matter a lot.
Additional comment: And if differences arise, we have the Bible to be our guide. Plus we have our spiritual leaders and friends for godly counseling.
Tanong nya: Ano ba ang non-negotiable mo?
Ako: Nung mas bata pa ako, mahaba-haba list ko, LOL. Pero I have 3 main things remain (parang faith, hope and love lang, haha). First, strong Christian (leader), financially stable and emotionally mature…
Side comment: The guy doesn’t have to be a made-man na. I want to be part of that. Di naman kailangan mayaman, payaman pa lang, haha. And yes, I think very important for the guy to be emotionally matured and I don’t think further explanation is needed. 🙂
I guess that’s it for now. Syempre, I have to keep some stories for personal talk, hehe. I hope somehow you got something or at least enjoyed reading my stories. Sabi sa akin ng pastor ko, “pagdating sa lovelife, isa ka sa mga pinagkakatiwalaan ko.” Gulp… Thanks te… Kaso nasobrahan ata at until now e wala pa rin, hahaha. Kidding aside, I strongly believe even that delay has godly reasons too… Meanwhile, I can always enjoy life while I am single. We can always thrive wherever God leads us. 🙂
Part II. Maybe I will talk about here something like the book written by Joshua Harris, “Boy Meets Girl”, haha. When will I write it? Well, that is something we’ll have to find out. I don’t know when too, hahaha. Malalaman na lang natin… But remember, I am a very private person when it comes to this so maybe, just maybe, I will surprise you… 🙂
Part III. This will give meaning to my answers in Part 1. Why not them? (Para namang andami umaligid sa akin, hahaha. PARANG lang naman). Why not then? It will also give color to part II that I, myself, will be enlightened.
God is great friends. God is sooo great! 🙂